Fears

We all have fears and they can differ from big to small fears. Fears can linger in you or you can choose to work with them, so that you can let go of your fears. Fears are perhaps the most difficult and biggest blockages that people have, and it can stop people living his or her true potential. But where do all those fears come from, and why are they so difficult to overcome? Fears can be deeply inprinted in our DNA, you could have inherited it from your parents, experience, society, or even from your previous lives. It could be so deep embedded in the layers of your subconscious mind that you don’t even know where it comes from. But it is there, and if you want to work on it, you will still have to come out of that comfort zone. Fears can change your entire reality. Something that might look or be perfect for you,  is something you might not be able to do in your head because of fear. Somewhere there is a short circuit in your head and therefore your whole system, which ensures that everything blocks if you want to do something, undertake something or be something. So in this case you are your own real biggest enemy.

 

Come out of your comfort zone

 

Then how do you break through those fears? You can approach fears in different ways, if you are really willing to do so. It doesn’t go without a struggle, but if you do something about it, then you will reap the most beautiful benefits. You can find everything you want behind your fears, it is all within your reach. You can tackle your fears in small steps or in large steps. You can tackle anxiety by going deep, and you can also tackle it with help or you can just take a small step that takes you out of your comfort zone and makes you grow slowly. And if you take small steps, one at a time then this will also take you out of that comfort zone. This process can take longer, but if you feel good about it, you just go with that. Everything that teaches you new things and gets you out of your comfort zone can also take you away from your fears. Because when you learn new things, you will be coming back more in your self-confidence, by seeing what you can do. Of course, the biggest learning method/experience would be to just dive deep and do it without thinking. By doing this you don’t even have time to think, and your taking the risk that you fall/fail. But then you discover that this is not bad at all, because of failure you learn and failure can only bring you to your success.

 

Fear of failure

 

Fear of failure is perhaps the biggest pitfall people have. Somewhere and somehow a fear is built up underneath, from which uncertainty arises. From that uncertainty, fear of failure is created again. Fear of failure is another layer that needs to be processed, and tackled to break through those comfort zones. Fear of failure is a very big illusion. Failure actually just does not exist, but in our lives we have convinced ourselves that it does exist. For me, fear of failure was indeed my reality for a long time, and I had a fear of failure for almost everything, and I still have a few that I am currently working on. The stakes were high for me and therefore I had set myself up for failure. And by failing, I condemned myself again and said to myself; You see you can’t do it? And with this my confidence again came down and made me leave it like it was. And by quickly giving up, it only builded up that fear of failure even more. Somewhere in my system I always had to be able to do it perfectly, but that is of course the biggest nonsense. Because first of all perfection does not exist, and how can it be perfect if you do not let yourself fail in the first place. Many great celebrities are successful, by always failing. Failure is crucial to know success. By failing, you learn to be successful. By failing, you learn and grow and you know where you can do differently and what you need to work on. Only in this way can you achieve the goals you want.

 

Step through that barrier

 

So it is up to you to step through that barrier, and to put yourself more in the light. In some cases it is necessary to take or get help, because some fears can be deeply rooted. We don’t have to do it all alone either, if we don’t want it or we can’t. And you know what, it’s not a problem if your asking or receiving help. Showing your vulnerability in a world where we have always been told to be tough and to keep going ,is actually the best thing there is. It is precisely something that shows that you are human, and are learning and willing to do something about it. Because of your vulnerability, you show others that they can also be vulnerable and that’s not bad at all. That is why so many people are frustrated, because we are put in a straitjacket not allowing us to be ourselves.

 

We are not robots, who can do everything perfect or be perfect. We are just learning in the whole process what life is all about, only some have forgotten to live. In a society of performance, we have come to think that we already must be perfect, and / or better than the other. But nothing is less true, and if we start to see that our vulnerability is our strength to grow to be better, we can step through that barrier that we have created for ourselves. Then we can go through that comfort zone, and grow out of our fears and in our self-confidence. We can build self-confidence, because it is a development in yourself that helps you grow into the ‘best’ version of yourself. It does not have to be perfect, because life is not made to be perfect. But if we really want growth, we will have to go through those fears. Often we are so busy with the goal/destination, that we forget that it’s all about the road/ journey you take. The most beautiful roads you walk through is because of this growth, and the most beautiful development you get through that growth. The goal/destination does not bring you growth, because at the goal/destination you have already achieved everything.

 

Only the way to it;

-has helped you fail in every way possible,

-has given you confidence,

-learned you to discover everything,

-gave you the wisdom to get to that goal/destination,

-have taught you how life really works,

-has given you all those qualities and talents to develop,

-has given you a taste of life,

-helped you get to know all those people along the way who helped you on your way,

-showed you other ways,

-has learned you your creativity,

-helped you find your way back to yourself.

 

And so I can continue for a while, but I just want to point out why the road/journey to it can be so beautiful and important and instructive. So try to work on yourself next year and do those things that you find scary. Help yourself to grow and get the best out of yourself. A person is capable of so much, it is only for ourselves to discover that and do something about it. To be a part of life, and in discovery with ourselves, for our growth and personal development. To give ourselves that self-confidence again, and see what it’s all about in life. No longer holding onto ourselves in old beliefsystems and fears, or being stopped by the world and how we are raised. But by being a part of life, and finding happiness again. So try out those things that you normally don’t dare and go on discovery with yourself, because the world can be as beautiful as you make it yourself.

 

Namaste

 

Love D

 

www.love-d.nl

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