The pain that loss entails

How do you ever overcome the pain of loss? Why does it hurt so intensely? Why is it happening to you? Why is it so unfair? How can you detach from that pain if it is so deep? What if you do not want to feel that pain anymore? How do you ever overcome this? The loss of something or someone can be so painful that you can no longer clearly see your world and everything around it. The emotions take over and you fall into a deep hole, wondering if you can ever get out of this. The images of the past and the moments that you have experienced flash through your mind and it is still gasping for breath. The tears keep flowing and there seems to be no end, so your life can get a dark edge. But if you are in that moment, you really do not see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Why is this happening to you, why is life sometimes so heavy? Why? It is all so difficult to process and you wonder how to proceed when everything is so unfair. And sometimes it is so hard to feel its intensity, sorrow dominates your days and you realise that your future has changed,..everything has changed. Why does losing cause so much pain, and why do we attach so much weight to something or someone that we know is pass or that we can lose? Clear thinking no longer applies to such a moment and the only thing you see is the loss,and the pain and the sadness go with it.

 

Letting go

 

How do you let go if you are not ready for it? How do you continue without the love that you received in abundance and now no longer? How do you live your days and how do you prepare yourself? Indescribable pain cut through your heart and soul and your head tries to reason everything. Who ever invented loss? Why isn’t it easier? What is the joy in everything? Letting go is perhaps the most difficult and hardest part of life and is often going to hurt incredibly. Gathered with the intense feeling of loss, so much grief comes up, rises to the surface and  emotions go in all directions. Letting go is painful,..letting go is heavy,..letting go is sad. But letting go is necessary and an integral part of life, though we do not want to feel, see or experience it. You are never ready for letting go, there is no special procedure for letting go. Letting go is a process you have to go through, and which gives you a little more healing and acceptance every day. Letting go is accepting, but if you are just in the process, that is not really possible. No words that make it better, no words that make you see differently. Because the pain is real, the grief is real and the loss is real.

 

Process

 

It takes time, a lot of time. And all you can do is cherish the memories and practice gratitude for the time you had together and focus on the fun things. That will really fail in the beginning and that is also okay, because it is a process that goes step by step. A process that simply takes time to clear all those layers of programming, Time to experience, feel and release all those different layers of grief and pain. Each and every time a bit further and more conscious and deeply healed. Gradually you will regain confidence in life and you will understand the goal of letting go. You begin to feel joy again and with moments you can fall back again. It is just like that. You can not possibly get out of the way of the process. Allow it all, the sadness, the pain, the loss. To fight against it to not want to experience and feel it, makes the process even heavier. You may feel the pain, you may feel the sadness, it may be there. You can just be! That is the process of healing and the process of life. Because there will come a day when you have given everything a place, and until that time it is important to be nice to yourself and the process you are in. Better times are coming, although they are not yet visible, they are most certainly on the way.

 

Mourning process in layers

 

The grieving process goes into layers. No matter how cliché it sounds for some, but with time you will heal little by little and you will pick up your life again. In the beginning you may fall back with the hour, after that it will be daily and then weekly etc. One moment is better than the other moment. You can also fall back into depression, this is unfortunately in some cases. Do not ever be afraid to ask for help. and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Because you can also be stuck in your own unprocessed emotions, making it difficult to look at life positively. But one thing is certain, life goes on. And whether you want it or not, you have to pick yourself and your life back up again. Be there for yourself and realize that this process is inevitable for everyone. Staying aware of the strength and courage that lies deep in your heart, to gather yourself together and to go back to live your life again with arms wide open. Try to regain confidence in life, because life also has its beautiful sides. Try to keep focusing on the positive in life, and everything that is positive around you. Learn to be grateful for the moments you have had, but also still have. Life is going to get better again, if you believe in it. But also give yourself the chance to admit the grieving process and not to get out of the way of it. Let the sadness come and go, so that you can make room again for love, joy and happiness. Let your heart heal, allowing it to be open again. Because after rain always comes the sunshine, although you do not see it yet. Stay confident in the process and the power within yourself, because you will come out stronger here. And maybe if the time is there you can give it a place in your heart.

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.

—Rumi

 

Namaste

 

Love D

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www.love-d.nl

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